From the start of my life, I wanted to be almost everything: civil servant, doctor, teacher, journalist, lawyer, singer, lecturer, writer, entrepreneur, scientist, technologist... and even an astronaut. Each time I thought about being one of these personalities, I would dive into research and immerse myself in that identity. However, it is not only me who has suffered from the challenge of standing at the crossroads of countless choices without committing to a single one.
This dilemma is deeply rooted in what Barry Schwartz calls the paradox of choice. When presented with too many options, we often feel overwhelmed and paralyzed. Instead of making a choice, we linger in uncertainty, fearing that committing to one path means losing out on others. Philosophically, this aligns with Kierkegaard’s concept of angst—the anxiety that arises from the burden of freedom and responsibility to choose.
Malcolm Gladwell, in his Outliers, mentions that one of the problems geniuses face is the overwhelming urge to explore everything without focusing on one thing. Similarly, a Facebook post by Malam Abdulrazak Rogo in the third quarter of 2024 resonated deeply with me: “I hardly see people with multiple ideas succeed.” It’s true. If you cannot find a specific field to commit to, success becomes elusive because you don’t know where you are heading. V., in The Mafia Manager, captures it aptly: “If you don’t know where you are going, you will never arrive there.”
For me, these theoretical ideas were not abstract. My parents had a hidden goal for me, which I came to understand only after my mother’s passing when I was just 15. They envisioned me becoming a medical doctor—a path they believed would secure a bright future. But during my teenage years, I began to grapple with the realization that my interests were vast and varied. I often found myself torn between their expectations and my personal passions.
When it was time for my UTME, however, my father surprised me by giving me the freedom to choose any course I wanted. Despite this freedom, I knew deep down that their hope was that I would still choose medicine, aligning with their dream. For me, however, the passion for computers and technology had already taken root—a spark that felt more like destiny than mere interest.
At first, I tried to align with their vision, but my heart wasn’t in it. I found myself constantly exploring new fields, unsure of where I truly belonged. One day, I would imagine myself as a lawyer, passionately defending the oppressed. The next day, I would see myself as a scientist, making groundbreaking discoveries. Each idea seemed exciting, but none felt permanent. This constant shifting made it difficult to build a solid foundation in any single field.
It wasn’t until I encountered a piece of advice from Steve Jobs that my perspective began to shift: “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward.” For a long time, I misinterpreted this quote, thinking it meant that I should keep hopping from one interest to another, trusting that the dots would eventually align. But I later realized that connecting the dots required action—consistent effort in one direction, not perpetual wandering.
Jobs’ words resonated deeply with me, but it wasn’t until I encountered Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s concept of *flow* that I understood the power of committing fully to one pursuit. Flow is the state of being deeply immersed in an activity, where time seems to disappear. To achieve flow, one must commit to a task, eliminating distractions and other competing interests.
I began reflecting deeply on what I truly loved and what I excelled at. Technology and entrepreneurship kept resurfacing. These were not just hobbies; they were passions that gave me purpose. So, I made a commitment that I would focus my energy on mastering these fields, even if it meant letting go of other dreams.
Philosophy teaches us that life is a series of choices, each leading to a different outcome. Friedrich Nietzsche believed that “to become who you are, you must go through the struggles of life and make deliberate choices.” But how does one choose when every option seems equally appealing?
Here’s what helped me break free from the cycle of indecision:
1. I spent time identifying the skills and interests that brought me the most joy and fulfillment. Writing, technology, and creating solutions stood out.
2. I realized that not every passion needed to become a career. Some could remain hobbies while I pursued one core path.
3. The hardest part was letting go of certain dreams. I reminded myself that saying no to one thing meant saying yes to something greater.
By following these steps, I found the clarity I had been seeking for years. They taught me that success isn’t about juggling everything—it’s about mastering what truly matters.
Today, I no longer see myself as someone who must do everything. Instead, I aim to do a few things exceptionally well. I’ve learned that success is not about how many ideas you have but how deeply you commit to the ones that matter most.
If you find yourself struggling like I did, please remember this: clarity comes from action, not overthinking. Start small and experiment. The dots will align when you give them a chance to connect.
Have peace always!
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