To spell SCHOOL, I mistakenly wrote SCHOOL. The tutor said it was wrong, I shouldn’t have interchanged the position of the double “O’s”; so it is always SCHOOL, not SCHOOL —the same way it is DOOR, not DOOR, and APP not APP. Note that interchanging the position of the same letters in a word results in failure.
After getting this, I went back and start practising how to follow this principle without failing. The first time I tried spelling ATTITUDE, but I got it wrong. Another tutor says I made a great mistake, the second letter ‘T’ shall come first before its neighbour ‘T’, so I shouldn’t change their position. I believed I was wrong, and then I went to relearn the steps again.
The third time, I locked myself up in my dark and hot room trying to learn it by all means. I gathered dozens of books, papers, lecture notes and other materials trying to grasp them to the best, in order to make what my tutor wanted me to. At first, I began to discover the error —how do I do it without interchanging the positions of the same letters. To cut it, I failed to learn and realize my errors, then I gave up and went to meet my tutor.
When I went to my tutor and told him all the matter, he assumed as if I was joking. I said, “Sir, teach me yourself so I can learn it the best.” Without uttering a single word, he cleared his throat and started giving examples on my sheet of paper, like this:
HAPPY ✅
HAPPY ❌
SILLY ✅
SILLY ❌
ADDITION ✅
ADDITION ❌
COMMON ✅
COMMON ❌
ALLY ✅
ALLY ❌
I checked it and put all my attention on paper as he gave it to me to realize my mistakes and take notes, but I wasn’t successful. I wondered, wondered again, and was still wondering; so I asked him, “Sir, I can’t realize the mistakes here, it seems all the wrong and correct words look the same in spelling. I guess they can only be different if they happen to be homophones, but I don’t know, please I need more light”
He laughed as he began to shiver, then quit after a while and gave me his attention; he said, “Look, there's a big difference between the words, the only thing you need to do is not to interchange their positions. That’s all” then he left. Honestly, at that time, I was very perplexed. I couldn’t imagine why all these things happen. I didn’t know how to correct my mistakes to avoid making greater ones. Then, to overcome these challenges, I eventually embarked on research by asking questions.
Unfortunately, if I had already known what this decision would cause, I wouldn’t have ever made it. Why? The moment I started asking friends and other colleagues how to write the correct word “SCHOOL” not my usual wrong spelling of “SCHOOL”, they started teasing me which finally led the innocent me into depression. Why am I making all these errors? I’m I the real me? Have I gone crazy? Why all these?
After some moments, I started fighting to comfort myself and make the best decision I could, but I wasn’t successful. I decided to follow a lifestyle of a friend —maybe my own style was wrong, but I failed even at this stage. I tried various procedures which even my friends couldn’t. I even changed my methods of trial. But in the end, all my efforts were in vain. I wanted to show the world that I wasn’t meant to impress or stress, but in the end, I was depressed.
After a while, my state of depression grew to the extent that I started developing negative thoughts. Solitude became my best friend. I fear almost everything. I quit things easily. Is it because I failed to defeat my challenges? No, not really. When someone is depressed, comfort would be the best solution to overcome the situation. In this case, I lose this solution. So I gave up and lose hope. My mind was itching. I perceive things upside down. I fail to free my mind.
Later on, after taking part to make myself more comfortable and face real-life problems and defeat them —to develop positive thoughts and good hope, I follow some suggestions of the great intellectuals in order to become a hero of myself. In this part, too, I realize the natural me and my inner instincts. What’s inside a man isn’t often revealed to others. Despite the fact that it remains invisible, the mysterious case here is to understand it. How do I make it more comprehendible while people abandon my findings? Take learned scholars, for instance, to make people comprehend a set of elements of knowledge, it takes a decade or even a century.
Meanwhile, even if people could not understand the main points of one’s naturality, there’s a need to get what it takes for someone to be different. People need to know how and why other people behave uniquely, and what’s the natural and individual differences in them. Failure to ponder this would result in the fallacy of realizing humans and their instincts.
Despite the fact that people want me to do certain things that I’m not usually familiar with, I feel it badly in my mind whenever I intend not to, or take an excuse from them. I always have a good intention of pleasing others, working to satisfy their needs as long as they do not intend to go astray, or the needs do not violate any rule.
Well, to understand the real me, one needs to create a professional medium of interacting with me, in such a way that they would comprehend my attitudes. Meanwhile, my attitudes depend on who I interact with. So, judging me without interacting with the real me would always result in thinko –what fellow philosophers call unintelligible decisions. However, note that even the fake me does not get vexed on unnecessary issues, and would try not to vex anyone.
Final Thoughts
At the beginning of history, this is why we fail! Put my words into a philosophical satire and you would arrive at the right conclusion.
The Mohiddeen you know!
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